major update

well lets see.. a lot has happened since my last post on february 10th. so let me see if i can remember anything. first thing's first, i went to trinidad from the 19th to the 23rd.. so much fun, i didn not want to leave. the weather was nice, the parties were nice, and so on. im going back for a week in july wit kern but it wont be carnival time so it prolly wont be as fun lol... i had some banging food, liquor was flowing nice at every party, and it made me realize that if im working 9 to 5 for the rest of my life im prolly gonna die. lol moving right along...following weekend, the friday, went to dinner with my friends, those rendezvous are always fabolous mainly bc its a time to catch up with everyones busy lives.. so the next major event for us will be yontia's wedding, which will be exciting. i actually went to a wedding that saturday that was so beautiful. it was a cousin of mine and i promise u i was tearing the whole time. weddings warm my heart. my retarded lil sister decides she wants to try to get the bouqet & when the MC found out she was young, he decided to pass it to me. so yeah, thats how that happened. so i had to do that stupid thing wit the guy puttin that thingy around my leg. i didnt really enjoy that part lmao but watever. anyways, fast forward, my birthday was march 4th, turned 25, wow i feel so old saying that, i dont feel any different than i did when i was 19. actually, i take that back. i do have more realistic goals and more significant goals than i did when i was 19. i have matured a lot and accomplished a lot more but i can tell u my personality hasnt changed one bit! my sweetie took me to new orleans for my bday and i must say that was one of my most interesting trips EVER! new orleans is sooooo old but so full of history. the homes look very colonial, they are nice tho. there were still plenty of areas that were still damaged due to katrina, and that was a lil shockin to me even tho i had heard that before, to see it was different. its also very hood over there. like lil wayne cash money hood. i mean i guess what they show on tv is actually real. it was nice tho. bourbon st where all the drinking festivities go down was fun. there were a lot of strip clubs. me and kern went n2 one and made fun of the strippers. FRIDAY nite got so drunk, i was damn near dead when i woke up the next day. hand grenade. dont do it to urself. u will pay for it. im convinced there is poison n that shit bc i had ONE. a rum and coke, and some other fruity drink later on. im sure it was the grenade that made me feel like death the next morning.

MOVING ON TO MORE IMPORTANT THINGS!!!!! i got a job in DC!!!!! so exciteddddddddddddd, something i was workin on for quite some time now is finally happening. im so greatful for my boyfriend and his assistance n this process bc i promise u i cudnt have did it without him. so i wont get into details about the job and what not bc u never kno who is reading this, but im very happy and im moving at the end of the month. this was a true blessing especially after wat happened at the beginning of feb. and about that, south west detectives r draggin their feet with my case and it is annoyin the f outta me. again i wont get in2 details about that bc the thief cud b reading this, but plz believe im gettin my shit bak very soon :P

so for the past 2 weex and the next 2 weex ill be workin on relocating and gettin all my ish together and up and out of phila... its definitely stressful but im greatful for all of it. im celebrating my 25th bday this friday as well as my going away with my philly friends and im excited for that. some fam is comin from out of town and i think it will be a good time. anyways, i guess i shud get to work now...

toodles!

i have SO much to say. where do i start?

1. why do people have to use so many words when explaining something, asking for something, complaining about something? just get to the fucking point. i dont have time to listen to ur bullshit, what exactly is it that you want/need?

2. ive been trying to figure out for years if i have a 'i like to have conversations' sign on my forehead that i cannot see. everywhere i go, someone is always trying to start a convo with me. i dont want to talk to you. i have enough friends and i dont wanna do the small talk thing. im tired, had a long day at work and i dont really care about the weather for the rest of the week. PLEASE STOP TALKING. its like lately everyone has so much to say, thats cool and all but ask urself first, 'does she care?' bc chances are i dont.

3. my friend had a status on FB about people overestimating their importance in life.. like really, you're really not that important. this world will continue to operate the same way with or without you. understand that.

4. annoying people should all be shot. im not a morning person. dont talk to me in the morning. the morning is to gather your thoughts, set your goals for the day, and figure out how youre going to achieve them. i dont need to be asked a billion questions. how was ur nite, how was ur day, u eat breakfast? wat u eat? whats for lunch? you goin out or staying in? ARE YOU SERIOUS?! what makes you think i want to be interviewed??? please tell me, what gave you that impression!

5. pam, dont think i did not notice you wrote a post and deleted it. you aint slick. lol.

6. son of a bitch. okay, so you do everything you are supposed to, you go to school, finish and get your degree. get a job. go to church. donate to charity. pay your bills on time. vote for your president. etc. then BOOM, you get fucked in the ass BIG TIME. ...i got robbed. they bust my fuckin locks to take shit that i spent my hard earned money on. are you fucking kidding me? im on YOUR side you fuckin idiot. im struggling too nigga, why me? so the bitch took my laptop, some accessories that went with it, my camera, kerns timbs, and my BUMBACLOT external harddrive that had all my pics from the past 7 yrs on it. i cud get over the shit EXCEPT my external harddrive. that shit tore me up. i have pics on there i cud never get that, grandma, neice and nephew, yontias baby when she was born, etc. i jus feel so violated, and i fault myself in many ways.

a. my door hasnt been that secure for some time now but i did not complain or bitch about it
b. various people come in and out of that damn house and i never said anything about it.
c. i got no renters insurance bc i was being cheap.
d. i moved out of my nice secure apartment to the hood in hopes of saving some money.
e. i did my same routine everyday, get up, go to work, come home, go to gym, come home and go to sleep and didnt once pay attention to my surroundings or stop and take a min to protect my shit.

i know people say you couldnt have expected this and its material things and jus b thankful ure safe, thats cool and all and i do agree, however, I DONT buss my ass monday thru fri 8 to 5 to get teh shit i want jus for some hood nigga to just take it out my apartment. everything i have i worked for, nothin was given to me, so for someone to jus take it like that with no remorse, i feel like at this point im better off living in public housing with no job collecting some type of government assistance. sit at home all day cold chillin collecting free money and spending it on wat i wanna... THATS SUM BULLSHIT.

but you know what, yesterday i told myself it didnt happen. i jus donated the items to charity. i dont want to carry the rest of my year out pissed off because of some devilish act. i know that wat goes around comes around and all i can do is pray for that person.

moving on...

7. im goin to see my babe this weekend for valentines day and trinidad next week for carnival. these 2 trips cudnt have came quick enough. an escape from reality and the ghetto bullshit i deal with everyday.

8. the only things that keep me sane are my friends and family. i hav sum of the greatest friends of all time, so be jealous that my friends are better than urs lol. and i am thankful that God has kept each and every one of them safe.

9. i need my tax return like theres no tomorrow. praise the lord for tax returns.

i shall return...

my homegirl got engaged last week, im ultra excited! 4th wedding i will be attending for 2009! as iwayne sings, i love to see my people living in love. i love weddings mainly bc they r so full of love and joy a nd i get to dress up and eat food. lol. this is going to be a wonderful year. i put the job search on the back burner for now since no one is hiring, but i still wanna check out some career fairs at some point in the spring. ive been extremely energized lately.. not sure y but i have a hard time falling asleep and i wake up mad early for no reason. i seriously wanna lose like 20 lbs. i honestly wanna b skinny. a lot of ppl ask why, like oh ure fine the way u are. no im not fool. when ure skinny u can wear ANYTHING. i mean u can wear a string and it will still look sexy. when ure thickalicious like me, u have to be careful wat u put on ur ass so u dont look a hot mess. and im tired of being careful wat i wear. also when ure thick u get hot quicker damnit. my breasts in the summer really be going thru it. and its not fair to them.

anyways congrats to tisha and her promo and her ability to move bk to phila and finally experience some fun lol. congrats to yon yon for taking it to the next step wit her boo. and again congrats to my man barry who put n the hardwork to make it to the presidential seat, i cant wait to see this years progress in politics...

obama!!! yea boy its official! so happy and it feels sooooo good to be black right now forreal... you cannot tell me shit.. i repeat, you cannot tell me shit. we've made it so far and its a beautiful thing. now its time to convince these you know whos that they can no longer do and say wat they want.. as a matter of fact, i got n2 it today at work with this dude. im in charge now fool. you were in charge for the last few hundred years, but we took over this year. he ended up storming out and leaving work. i could care less. tired of you, you, and your friend. i dont give 2 shits what you think about me, my president is barack obama and thats all that matters bitch.

anyways ive lost weight. not mucch but im so happy bc for like the past 6 months ive been at the same damn weight and it would not move. finally, i dunno wat did it, but finally. now my arms dont look as fat in pics, and i can fit a lot of my tight ass jeans that i wasnt able to before. alleluia. watever it was, ima continue with wat i been doing. i guess it really is all about consistency. need to get that body right for the next cpl of months, weddings, vacations, etc... tons of opportunities for pics and i hate to look like the fat one who ate just 1 too many donuts. not this year bitches!!!!

you ever go thru pics on facebook and myspace of friends who have kids and wonder who the hell is takin care of their kids while they are partying every weekend? i mean really, there is nothing wrong with partying when you have kids, but every weekend you up in the club? wow. i mean i guess bc i dont have kids i dont REALLY know how life is after kids but i know that i wouldnt feel comfortable leaving my kids every weekend to go party up in the club. but then again everyone is different. i feel like at some point tho after you have kids, the weekend clubbing needs to either slow down or come to a complete stop bc wat type of shit are u teaching ur kids if u out every weekend popping champagne. iunno thats just me.

for a while girls were known as the nagging, emotional, dont know what we want sex but i feel like the roles are switching big time. more and more females are becoming dogs like men and men are nagging and acting like bitches all the time. wat the fuck. i wanna go back to the old traditional days where i didnt have to worry about an emotional dude nagging me.

anyways i need to understand why everytime im traveling, i end up sitting next to a BITCH. someone who is only about herself and doesnt give a fuck that she is sitting in a row with 2 other human beings. for CHRISSAKE, i wanted to slit this bitches throat on sunday. first things first, she puts her coat in the overhead compartment after the fuckin stewardess said only large bags go up there bc we have a full flight. DID YOU HEAR THAT BITCH? so move ur coat so i can put my suit case up there. then she sits her belongings under the seat in front of mine, UM NO.."EXCUSE ME MAAM CAN YOU PUT THIS STUFF UNDER YOUR SEAT?" dont u kno this bitch have nerve to respond, well where am i going to put my feet? bitch no one told u to bring 25 bags, thats ur fuckin business, the seat in front of me is for my feet not yours. GOSH, i mean i thought it was common sense but apparently not. then she was mad bitchy the whole fuckin ride. its a fuckin plane not ur own personal limo. one of these days u gonna see me on the news for 'woman fighting on plane gets escorted out of the airport' bcause one of these bitches are going to make me snap one day.

i have such a good boyfriend, i just had to share that with everyone :)

tick tock.. trying to make it till 450 so i can fly out of here and go to the hairdresser. this week started off intense and now its just dull. but im happy the weekend is here and i finally paid all my bills. whoo hooo.. maybe i can afford an outfit or 2. i need something exciting to happen but it hasnt yet. everyday i wake up like i wonder wat exciting will happen today. but then at the end of the day i just go to sleep. i guess one day. lol on another note im excited for this year and all the things i want to do and the places i want to go. ima try to make it happen but one step at a time. first things first.. 25th bday, wanted to do miami beach for the weekend. only thing worried bout is the weekend available is 10 days afta my actual birthday.. i guess thats not a big deal tho. aside from that, 3 weddings this yr, i love weddings. trinidad, jamaica, and hopefully somewhere nice with my lover. i REALLY just realized life is what you make it. people say it all the time but its really true. the things i want to do, i do it. and im happy about it. times when i sit at home complaining about something, its up to me to get up and change that. so on that note, yes i am still on the job hunt, not hardcore tho bc i am still unsure of the location i want to be. either dc or ny but i have to come up with some plan to network and get out there bc the whole internet thingy is not doing it. my mommy bought me a blender for xmas and ive been makin some lovely smoothies. they are great for meal replacements, so ive been doin real well health wise lately. except i need to add more fruits bc right now all i really been usin is bananas and strawberries.

i need a whole new wardrobe big time. all of my clothes are on their last couple of days. so much shit i wear got holes in it lol but i dont be givin a fuck. one day i was hopin someone wud send me like 10 gs and i cud take care of that issue... 1 day

i've been sick for a whole 7 days. wat the fuck... i feel like a stupid lil kid. i hardly ever get sick but i think with all the traveling for the holidays, sleeping all over the place, and being out in the cold.. i some how caught a cold. normally i will drink plenty of liquids, dayquil, nyquil, halls.. and id be fine within 3 days.. but that shit aint working this time. everyday i feel the same and i continuously blowing or hocking up the green.. yeah gross i know. but ive never had a cold for this long, hope its nothin serious. this has been a hectic week at work and i cant wait till friday at 5pm when i can jus go home and take a nap and not thinnk about anything. i really wish winter was over in january. granted, it hasnt been THAT cold, and im happy about that, i jus really wished i lived in a warm climate. anyways.. back to work

boy oh boy

okay so quick post bc im lazy and have a sick man to tend to :-/ new years.. was ...eh.. good. i cant complain. heard on the radio bout some club called imperial in nyc and all these good deejays being there so im like iight bet lets go there. online it was 50 dollars which included complimentary champagne and caribbean food, so good deal right? well the next morning when i went to purchase the tickets, the link had been removed. wtf! so im like iight we'll just pay at the door, no biggie right? turns out we get there at 11, my foolish mistake, shudve been there by 9pm, and we end up havin to wait online for about an hr and 15 mins.. so yes i was online when the clock hit 12am freezing my butt off in like 10 degree weather. dear god. i swear my toes were frost bitten. when me and k finally got in i had to literally stand there for a while to get some warmth back n my toes. then this heffa tried to charge us 100 a person, im like no we be online since 11pm. shes like okay 70 each then. fine. thats nyc im not mad. so the party was popping. great music, great food, vibes were nice. except it gets to about 4 when me and k decide we wanna leave and we go to coat check. we waited for about 45 mins for this bitch to find his coat. till i finally begged her to let me come back there. and i found it in less than 30 seconds. bitch! if u wudve let me come back there n the first place this issue wudnt have gone on for so long. anyways, get home at damn near 6am and sleep for a couple of hrs and head back to CT to babysit k's neice. so in a nutshell my nye and new years was good minus the long line and coat check. i slept for the rest of the week until i got to philly. chynas bf birthday party was last nite.. was pretty good but this boy decided he wanted to drink a gallon of alcohol. so who is paying for it? me, who had to clean him up last nite AND this morning bc he keep fuckin throwin up. gross! im very grossed out but i had no choice but to clean this nigga up. once he snaps outta it, i really wanna punch him one good time cuz i told his foolish ass to stop drinking long before he did. motherfucker.

anyways i have to sleep for the rest of the day, i have a sore throat and runny nose and mad fuckin work this upcoming week.. booooooooooooooooo

happy holidays!!!! sitting here at work miserable as hell.. luckily tho last day at work for the year, and i wont be back till the 5th.. praise the lord. i only worked 2 days last week as well so i guess i cant complain too much. december has been a wonderful month for me. ive had a lot of time to spend with family and friends and it makes me realize how bad i want to be back in ny. one day... i'll be patient till then. xmas was nice, got to spend time with my fam and kerns fam and party with my friends from back home. STILL have yet to find a place to spend new years, hopefully something will come up that is affordable. i got a banging dress and i cant wait to squeeze my ass n it. hopefully it doesnt bust lol.

so new years resolution. dont really have one and i always hear people talkn bout they dont believe in that bc you shouldnt wait till the new years to do something, why not now. i guess my PLANS would be to do everything bigger and better. hopefully. there is nothing i really want to change about myself. maybe shed a couple of lbs but that wud not be a plan for the new year cuz i been tryin to do that forever lol. i would like a new job. but that is in the works. i would like more money. i guess that would come with a new job. so i guess there is nothing... i just pray for another safe year for myself, my friends, and my fam...

anyways, i guess i should be doing some work now

why is it so effin cold? my gas light has been on all weekend but i was too lazy to go get some. so this morning i realized i better get some before my ass stop in the middle of the street... pull over to the gas station and get out and it feels like the north pole outside. put in my card and get ready to pump.. my fingers damn near fell off, i cud only got in like 3 dollars and some change before i was like fuck it.. i was seriously about to start crying. thats how cold my hands were. i know its sposed to be cold in the winter but DAMN. i just want to stay inside for the rest of the winter.

xmas is this week and have i bought any presents for anyone? lol no. damn shame but money has been tight lately. all i am able to afford is my bills, if even that at times. but God has blessed me recently with my 2nd raise for the year. except it wont kick in till jan 1st so i guess i gotta wait. so i gotta b ghetto this yr and buy xmas gifts after xmas.. oh well.

sooo excited for the new year. not too sure why but i am. i was pissed last week bc my job wont reimburse me for 6 sigma so i cant take it this upcomin semester.. cant afford that shit. their reason was so bogus and vague but then they cheered me up with my raise so i cant be to upset. i just have to postpone i guess till i can afford it on my own. in any case, 2mr is my last day at work till next monday.. whooo hooooooooooo