happy holidays!!!! sitting here at work miserable as hell.. luckily tho last day at work for the year, and i wont be back till the 5th.. praise the lord. i only worked 2 days last week as well so i guess i cant complain too much. december has been a wonderful month for me. ive had a lot of time to spend with family and friends and it makes me realize how bad i want to be back in ny. one day... i'll be patient till then. xmas was nice, got to spend time with my fam and kerns fam and party with my friends from back home. STILL have yet to find a place to spend new years, hopefully something will come up that is affordable. i got a banging dress and i cant wait to squeeze my ass n it. hopefully it doesnt bust lol.

so new years resolution. dont really have one and i always hear people talkn bout they dont believe in that bc you shouldnt wait till the new years to do something, why not now. i guess my PLANS would be to do everything bigger and better. hopefully. there is nothing i really want to change about myself. maybe shed a couple of lbs but that wud not be a plan for the new year cuz i been tryin to do that forever lol. i would like a new job. but that is in the works. i would like more money. i guess that would come with a new job. so i guess there is nothing... i just pray for another safe year for myself, my friends, and my fam...

anyways, i guess i should be doing some work now

why is it so effin cold? my gas light has been on all weekend but i was too lazy to go get some. so this morning i realized i better get some before my ass stop in the middle of the street... pull over to the gas station and get out and it feels like the north pole outside. put in my card and get ready to pump.. my fingers damn near fell off, i cud only got in like 3 dollars and some change before i was like fuck it.. i was seriously about to start crying. thats how cold my hands were. i know its sposed to be cold in the winter but DAMN. i just want to stay inside for the rest of the winter.

xmas is this week and have i bought any presents for anyone? lol no. damn shame but money has been tight lately. all i am able to afford is my bills, if even that at times. but God has blessed me recently with my 2nd raise for the year. except it wont kick in till jan 1st so i guess i gotta wait. so i gotta b ghetto this yr and buy xmas gifts after xmas.. oh well.

sooo excited for the new year. not too sure why but i am. i was pissed last week bc my job wont reimburse me for 6 sigma so i cant take it this upcomin semester.. cant afford that shit. their reason was so bogus and vague but then they cheered me up with my raise so i cant be to upset. i just have to postpone i guess till i can afford it on my own. in any case, 2mr is my last day at work till next monday.. whooo hooooooooooo

yo some people are so stuck on themselves it is unbelieveable. i dont know why certain people feel that the world revolves around them and everything should be in their favor... YOU should do things for them... you should give them what you have.. bitch please. everybody got their own shit going on, worry about what you need to do to get the things you want. im so tired of people always looking for a handout... nigga youve gotten the same opportunities as me. how you dealt with them is your business not mine. too often i hear, well i was thinking you could.. well could you do this for me...bla bla.. dont get me wrong, i am always willing to help people out when i feel like they honestly need the help, but when i feel you can do shit on your own, then thats what you need to do. dont try to tell me what you was thinking i could do. actually, no you could do the same thing for yourself.

in any case.. i am excited for the holidays and this year coming to an end. every year its like im given a new chance to do better and make better decisions than i did the previous yr. i dont really have any BIG plans for 09 except that i just want a better job and perhaps get out of philly.. but i am being patient and doing what i can with what i have. i think God gave me this job to prepare me for the world we live in cuz Lord do these people make me want to blow somehting up EVERY SINGLE DAY. i assume tho once i move on, i will be able to deal with any type of person and any environment.. we will see i guess...

i finally got heat. alleluia. no more using the oven to heat up the house like a project chic :)

so greatful

i love this time of the year bc i get to see family and loved ones and spend time with them. it kind of sux bc i live here in philly and all my close friends and fam are ELSEWHERE. so in order to see them i always have to travel. i love traveling, but the time it takes to travel is what kills me. a 2-3 hr drive to home and CT this holiday took like 6 hrs and it sucked real hard. however i had a really good thanksgiving. bf flew in and we went to NY and CT to visit both of our families. it was so relaxing and made me realize how bad i want to be back in ny making more money than i am now. but patience.. i must have patience. i figure i will get to that point as soon as i make myself a bit more marketable by taking this 6 Sigma class in january and participating in more projects at work to build my resume. i figure by march once the class is over, ill have a whole lot more to sell myself with to get a better job in a better location. as far as thanksgiving, ate at both families place, so good, i prolly gained 120 lbs (laxatives here i come!) but i feel good. slept every chance i got. did a lil shoppin on black friday but nothin special.. there werent any great deals, so i just got lil shit. im proud to say i only spent $45 on black friday. mainly cuz thats all i had to begin with lol... now im back at work and reality realizing how much i think life sux here n philly, but it doesnt. it is what it is. i really have nothing to complain about so i wont. the weather sucked comin back last nite but i made it safely thank god...cant wait for xmas!!!!